When my husband and I wanted to have children
And weren’t having much success
In the usual way,
I approached a doctor to ask
if he could help.
He reminded me that I was over
30 years old, my husband as well.
He was an old -fashioned doctor,
A kindly doctor, and his advice was
“You can spend a lot of money
and waste a lot of time
with new scientific ways of conceiving a baby.
I suggest you put your time, effort and money
into adoption.
That way, your time and money will
be more likely to be well spent.
You will eventually have a child.”
I had always wanted to adopt anyway.
I was afraid of pain,
I was afraid of pregnancy,
I was afraid that my body
Would change drastically
And that it would never look
Sexy again.
My husband really wanted a baby-
His baby--
His blood.
I didn’t care how I became a parent,
I just wanted to be a mother.
As I look back on my life now,
I see how wise that old doctor was.
We didn’t have much money,
And would not have been able
To afford the new scientific expensive
Ways to have a biological baby
of “our own.”
I put ”of our own”
In quotation marks
because we became parents in many ways.
First, we welcomed the children of an overworked
single mom who sometimes needed a break from her
two biological children on weekends
Then, we became foster parents
because a social worker came to our home, saw all the space we had,
and thought we should.
Our first reaction was that they wouldn’t want us.
We were never parents before.
We didn’t have much money.
We put our food on the table with
the help of food stamps.
This social worker said
“You live in a big home,
You have the room.
You are a teacher,
your husband grew up with 13 siblings.
I think you have the skills
to be good parents."
So we discussed it--
took some classes,
Our first foster children
just lived down the road,
We already knew them
And they knew us.
They “helped” us do chores
When we went to ‘the other farm’
we rented. The kids already trusted us
They wouldn’t be scared of us,
their parents could get the help they needed
to heal their spirits and take care
of their physical needs.
We loved those children,
When they went back home after a month
2 days later we had four more children
That needed a home.
We filled out the paperwork to adopt
An overseas child,
We hoped we’d become permanent parents somehow.
A call finally came.
We were accepted
as adopted parents
We’d have to wait awhile
To complete all the steps,
and pay for those steps
A little at a time.
Then came some surprising news.
I was pregnant.
My husband and I decided to keep going
on our adoption, even when other people said,
“You don’t have to adopt now.
You’ll have your biological child.”
We already felt our to-be-adopted son
was already ours. We wanted them both.
Just in time before my pregnancy showed much,
we got the call that all was set,
We could board a plane, travel for 3 days,
and finally meet our already loved son.
So, we became parents to two children within six months,
Three weeks after brought our baby home from the hospital
we were asked to welcome 3 more foster children into our home.
They came and lived with us for six months
before their mom was ready to take them back.
More children still needed a home.
Most of the time we said, “O.K’
but some of the time we asked,
“Couldn’t someone else take them?"
One time a police officer called back within
30 minutes of his first call to us to say
"There isn’t anyone else we can ask."
So, that night after 11:00 p.m.
we greeted two little boys and tucked them in bed.
When our permanent kids woke up the next day
they were delighted to have more kids to play with.
We loved those boys we almost said no to.
We told social service if they ever became adoptable we wanted them.
We already had our our limit of children in our foster home
so those two precious blond-haired boys needed to be placed in
another foster home. after a week.
It was hard to tell them good-bye.
Our -year-bye old daughter pleaded,
"Don't take my friend away!"
She sobbed for hours after they left.
So many years later we look at our family,
An adopted son,
A biological daughter, two biological sons, and two foster
sons that we were told would probably be placed with us
until they graduated from high school.
We also had 3 little angels in heaven.
In all we had welcomed over 50 foster children
into our home for a time,
We are so grateful to the kind, elderly doctor
who told us to put our time and money into adoption
Instead of trying the new baby miracles that cost such a lot.
All of the children we raised in our home
Were loved equally, the foster, the adopted, the biological
children were loved for who they were--Children of God.
Being a parent was never an easy job
with any of our children, foster, adoptive, biological,
But we loved our journey and our children.
Our time was well spent. Our tears were well spent.
Our laughter, our frustrations, our joys, our sorrows were well spent.
Between God, our community, and living in faith
some fine children reached adulthood and
are now raising children of their own.
We are proud parents and grandparents.
Children enriched our life,
It didn’t matter how they came into our life,
Many that were placed in our home
go back to their healed biological parents,
We had one biological child we had to buy a gravestone for.
All of these children have a special place in. our hearts.
I am glad we have experienced the gift of raising
children in our home.
I am very grateful for our kind and wise doctor,
some kind and wise social workers,
And our community of family and friends
that helped us raise our children.
I am glad we became parents in more than the usual way.
Our life has been blessed.
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